About Me

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I snort when I laugh. I don't sleep much. Music is my life. I'm extremely clumsy. John Mayer is the love of my life. So is Batman. I'm Mormon. I have a slight obsession with mustaches. I blog because I can. I say what I think when I think it. My sense of humor often gets me in trouble. I love adventures. I get lost constantly.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Angry people are not always wise.

Angry people are never wise really.
My last post was a post written in anger, and now that I've gone back and read it I was embarrassed enough to remove it.
One thing people that know me should realize is that I am a reactor.
I react.
I react to everything--positively, negatively, whatever--I tend to react.
Some people like to tease me because they know they can and will get a reaction out of me. (I won't name names, you know who you are haha)
Anyway, I had just received some news and it wasn't really great news for me so I kind of just let it out on here.
I swore I would never get a blog but I really love it because I can just write out my feelings and thoughts when I need to.
Some people turn to music, to art, to sports, or other things but I've never really been good at any of those things.
Writing has always been something that's come naturally to me and so its now my first instinct when anything happens.
Its such a release to let everything out. To let my fingers translate what my head and heart are thinking and feeling.
Right now I'm feeling good. (I usually do feel good but I don't often write about it.)
This weekend is Halloween weekend and I'm lost for costume ideas. All I really have in my supply is a mustache and cool nerdy glasses (I'm a college student, I don't really have money to buy a costume. Especially since the Batman ones are expensive...haha.)
The person I really want to hang out with this weekend won't be at the same place I'm going but I'm going with an awesome group of my other favorite people:)
We're going to some dance place tomorrow night and I'm excited! I haven't gone dancing in a long time (a church barn dance does not count in my opinion).
I'll be surrounded with music and boys and costumes. What more could I want? ;)
Good times, with good people is what its all about.
I'm loving my life.
School is good, I'm getting good grades, my teachers all seem to like me, and I hang out with some of the best people I could imagine.
I'm flying home for Thanksgiving and I am SO excited about that!
Most of my siblings are going to be there and we haven't all been together for Thanksgiving in years.
My sisters, some of my brothers are going to be there, my nephew and maybe some of my nieces. I'm so stoked!
I love big families. I think they're crazy and loud and fun. There is never a dull moment. Trust.
I'm so blessed in my life.
I am blessed to watch my loved ones and others turn their lives around and watch strained relationships mend and broken hearts heal.
My God is good to me. He loves me and never lets me forget it.
I have the most amazing friends you could ask for. They love me and support me and they take care of me 'cause heaven knows I would never make it on my own.
There's so many beautiful, wonderful, special, incredible people I know.
Here's to the people that love me and show me everyday:
You're awesome. I love you. I love everything about you and all the things you do for me. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for caring. Thank you for listening. Thank you to the few that have let me cry on their shoulders. Thank you to the others that will comfort me on the future. If you're in my life you have blessed me more than you will ever know. I am grateful for YOU.
I don't have much else to say.
It's just here for you to read and interpret how you want.
These are just my thoughts tonight.

Love, Ducky.

Friday, October 8, 2010

I've got the magic in me.

So, my life is good. Really good:)
School is still going crazy, I'm pretty sure I failed my math test... but its all good baby. Haha I woke up in a good mood this morning. Its one of those "I'm glad to be alive" days.

If I had one song to describe my life right now it would probably be Everybody's Changing by Keane (Fun Fact: I got the sheet music for this song...and I shall attempt to learn it. I hate sight reading. Ugh.) I discovered this song and band by accident really. Thank you Pandora! Haha. I am now in love with this song and band. For some reason my favorite bands all seem to be from Britain. Curse you Brits! ;)

Anyway, the song kind of explains how everyone is changing, their lives are moving in different directions and the singer doesn't feel the same way.
Well, most days thats how I feel.
All my life my best friends have been guys, literally since pre-school.
Its been that way up until this semester.
Last semester my very best friend was a guy and although I had lots of lady friends I only regularly hung out with 4-5.
Well this semester I'm not hanging out with guys at all really. I study with a couple different ones for different classes, but none of them are my best friends like I want.
There's some sort of connection I feel with a guy best friend that I don't with girls. I'm not very close to my real brothers so I tend to adopt guys as surrogate brothers, and I love that. I love brothers! Even with everything they put me through.
This semester I feel like I don't have any brothers. I mean I have guy friends and stuff but I don't hang out with them outside of school at all and probably never will.
But I am thankful for the sudden burst of girl friends. I never knew how many people really cared about me before. Now I find myself always with one girl or the other, and I actually love it.
Another reason I usually hang out with guys is because for most of my life I have been highly intimidated by girls. I didn't know how to act around them or talk to them or anything. I grew out of that stage awhile ago but I am still nervous around girls sometimes haha. Guys are much easier to read for me.
Girls are lots of emotions and feelings and half of them are hidden.
I miss my guys, I miss the fact that they would make me laugh until I couldn't breathe, and then continue until I almost pass out. Haha I have the best memories from my guys.
But I feel like I have entered a new era of Ducky.
I am friends with more girls than I can count and I feel genuinely loved by all of them. I trust them and I know they're there for me. They're like my safety net so to speak. This was an unwanted change but its a GOOD change. My life is good. I am blessed. My parents love me. My friends love me. My God loves me. And my dog Mollie loves me. Hahaha:)
Life will never be more than we can handle.
I love knowing that.
So if you're blue today...go ahead and be blue today. It's healthy to have a meltdown every once in a while.
But tomorrow: smile. Get down on your knees and pray. Do something for someone else. Do what you can to help your family. Don't forget where it all came from. And finally, love people. Just love them. Because in the end thats all you can do. Anything you do for people starts with loving them. Sometimes thats all you can do for them. And sometimes thats all we need. Just love us.